Someone in Christ

I've lived most of my life being treated like "That guy". I've spent many public outings feeling invisible. Attempts to be friendly were treated as desperate and needy pleas for attention so thus were thoughtlessly dismissed as such. Perhaps that is why for a very long time I preferred to sit back and observe, rather than to socially engage. That constant discouraging thought in the back of my mind "no one cares about what you think, you don't matter to them. No one takes you seriously, so really there is no point in talking." This created a need to prove myself. To *make* people notice me. Maybe if I made a lot of money, or had a lot of stuff, maybe then people would take me seriously. Maybe then I would be worth something.

That was me, pre-salvation. Even for a while after, that need to "prove myself" was a demon I've battled for a long time. That springs up from an aspect of our sinful nature that God hates, pride. Of course now I have come to the understanding that the only person I need to please, the only person I need to "prove" myself to is God. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It doesn't matter what possessions I may or may not have. What matters is Christ. That, my friends, was extremely liberating for me when I came to that understanding. The world would see that as a loss of freedom, that we are imprisoned by standards, morals, the Bible. Of course, God tells us the things and wisdom of the Bible are foolish to the world. They cannot understand them. There is true freedom in Salvation. Not freedom TO sin, but freedom from it. Freedom from the cares and standards that the world imposes. Freedom to serve God joyfully with no fear of what is waiting in eternity. The confidence, hope, and peace knowing I am eternally secure gives me. That is freedom.

Worldly possessions and power are meaningless to a Christian, or, they should be. Everything here on Earth will burn. All of our accomplishments. Our "creations", our worldly achievements, they will all burn. The only thing that matters is what is eternal. What have we done for Christ in our time here on Earth. I have been liberated from that feeling of worthlessness, from that desire to please others and prove that I am somebody. When I meet with Christ in prayer, when I compare myself to him, I understand how truly and infinitely small I am compared to him. That I can never be *worth* anything outside of him, and that only because of him am I even worth anything at all.

Even now sometimes Satan will hurl those fiery darts at me and fill my mind with despairing thoughts of "nobody cares, you're worthless, you're a nobody to them." I resist him, the Holy spirit will bring verses to mind that I quote to myself to strengthen me and Satan flees. I can encourage myself knowing that I am a child of the King. I am something, someone in Christ and that is more than enough for me.

Do not be discouraged Christian. We are children of the King. Christ in us, the hope of glory.